I’m back at last, from a two-month sex tour around The Congo, and I’m not going to lie to you. I’m very unhappy with my travel agent.
Our first piece of disturbing news is that the other week whilst taking photos for our album cover, Andy accidentally stabbed himself in the chest with a remembrance poppy, making him the latest casualty of the First World War. Damn it, will the killing never stop! Luckily he made a full recovery moments later.
Secondly, unless you’ve been living under a rock on Mars, or read the Daily Retard habitually, you’ll know about the global financial catastrophe that we, in Bombskare, have been predicting for some time now.
In a nutshell, and I’ll keep it simple, the bursting of the housing bubble has led to large losses for anyone who bought assets backed by mortgage payments; these losses have left many financial institutions with too much debt and too little capital to provide the credit the economy needs; troubled financial institutions have tried to meet their debts and increase their capital by selling assets, but this has driven asset prices down, reducing their capital even further. Simple really.
Unfortunately it’s not all entirely good news. The collapse of the global financial system has had a rather disturbing and unsettling unintended consequence. It looks like the government may have to nationalise our band, Bombskare.
How the hell did we arrive at this shocking catastrophe, where we may have to be bailed out by the British taxpayer? Government regulation and management of Bombskare is unthinkable, is what you are undoubtedly thinking? It’s not too farfetched if you think about. Look at the banks for example. Large institutions, bloated bureaucracies, hopelessly short sighted yet vital to the local economy; remind you of anything. Yes, like the banking system, we too are also too big and important to fail, so we will be getting billions and billions of taxpayer cash for being shit at our business. Essentially, you could describe it as the worlds largest ever giro. Thanks for that.
So the bottom line is that we will be releasing our album in February 2009 when the stock market has finished crashing and hopefully the value of the bands shares has recovered. If you have a problem with that, you can email Gordon Brown.
We’ve included some pics from our triumphant headline appearance at the Knockengorroch Festival and some outtakes of our photo shoot. Enjoy.